Hi, I'm Nicki Kuurman, and welcome to the Practical Mystic Podcast, where universal wisdom meets modern life.

Many women say to me, "I can't hear my intuition." I don't think that's always true.

In fact, I don't think it's ever true.

I think we do hear our intuition, but we just don't trust ourselves enough to honour it all the time. And if you have been conditioned to not trust yourself, maybe you've been in a relationship where you were constantly gaslit or put down it erodes your trust with the nudges that you get from your intuitive hits.

The whisper was always there.

You knew it.

And when you don't trust it, you get that feeling. It's like, "Ah, I knew I should have done it differently. I got the hit and I didn't follow it." And we all know what that feels like.

The [00:01:00] voice was always there. The nudge was always there. You just learnt not to listen to it, not to trust it, not to follow it

As children, we learn to not upset people, keep being seen and not heard, stop being difficult, don't speak up too much, don't be intrusive, don't be too emotional, don't be too loud,

The cost of not speaking our truth isn't silence. The cost of not speaking our truth comes out in resentment, frustration, low self-worth, people pleasing, confusion, and a definite disconnect to our own source energy and who we truly be, our authentic voice,

A funny story. When I first started [00:02:00] in a meditation circle and practice some 30 years ago, one of the first things that I learnt was to-- how to listen to that voice. And I would practice with spirit, and they would say to me, "Okay, let's play a game." And throughout the day, little things would come up, and I had this habit of as soon as I came home from work, I would kick off my shoes at the front door.

And one day I heard, "Pick up the shoes." And there was this feeling, not of words and not of voice, but a feeling that I was going to trip over them. And in my mind, I was like, "Yeah, yeah, I will in a second." And I turned around to do something, and I literally stepped back and tripped over the shoes. And I just laughed because I was like, "Oh, this is what you mean.

This is how I play." They're giving me little things to play with to strengthen trusting myself [00:03:00] to hear again. I had blocked out the voices for many years through my teens and early twenties because I just didn't want to hear anymore. I didn't want to see anymore. I was really struggling with my own gifts.

And I said to spirit, "Enough. I just need a break." I think I was thirteen or fourteen at the time. And I could easily say that it went away, but it never did. It just showed up with more knowing, more sensitivity, and more awareness around these nudges in other forms. The communication didn't go away. It just changed form.

So where in your life are you getting little intuitive hits and you're ignoring them?

How can you make it more fun? With low-stakes risk, right? Like tripping over your [00:04:00] shoes or trying to find your keys. It happens all the time, I put my keys down And I'm like, "Where did I leave my keys?" And I can go around looking for them for ages, and then as soon as I tune in, they show up.

And it's almost a game, as if Spirit's hiding them from me. Maybe they were always in plain sight, but I couldn't see them.

How is your intuition trying to get your attention? What little nudges are you ignoring in order to strengthen this muscle? Because like any communication style, it takes practice. It takes practice to trust ourselves.

It takes, practice to trust what we are receiving is a truth

So, when we have been shut down from our conditioning around not trusting ourselves, not following our intuition, [00:05:00] doing the right thing, not following our heart, how do we then expect as adults to learn how to trust ourselves again? We have to go back to how we learned as children to make things fun.

It's strengthened through listening, trust, and also appreciation. When we appreciate our intuition, it gets stronger When we appreciate honesty and good communication, it gets stronger. We get better at it. When you are following the nudges, you are following and doing and living your own truth all the time.

When we fall into these old habits of self-doubt, people-pleasing, putting everybody else's needs before our own, we erode that [00:06:00] trust

I always think about, um, Brené Brown's example and her daughter talks about the jellybean jar, and every time you have trust with someone, you put a jellybean in that jar. And when you have good trust with someone, including yourself, there's plenty of jellybeans in order for you to flow with, right?

And even if something in you doesn't continue that trust for a time or you have a moment of disconnection, there's plenty of jellybeans in the jar, and you can take some out and you're not going to completely collapse. And you know that then it's like, "Oh, hang on, I need to keep rebuilding my trust with myself.

Where am I not following my word or my truth or what I believe in?" I'm going to take scrolling for myself as example. In this day and age of distractions, I know that I scroll to [00:07:00] distract myself. I'm sure many of you do.

I hear or I see a reel and it's like, "Get off of the technology."

And when I don't listen to that, I get almost in a trance state of just flicking and flicking and flicking, and I feel terrible afterwards, but when I appreciate that that reel came on to say, "Enough, child. Enough with the scrolling for today. This is no longer useful for you," and I actually put the phone down, I build back more trust.

I put more jellybeans back in my jar

It shows up in a myriad of ways every day How we are communicating in our relationships, with [00:08:00] friends, with coworkers, with ourselves. Where do I need to build trust? Firstly, with you, and then with others

Following through on your word. Integrity

Being in alignment with what you're speaking and believing it and living it, walking your talk. More jellybeans

The times when I feel most disconnected from myself is when I'm not doing the practices that I know fill my cup. When I'm not meditating, when I'm not moving, when I'm not giving myself enough time out from the busyness of my life to connect to nature, to slow down It's easy to get distracted. It takes discipline to stay in alignment.

Not discipline as in you must [00:09:00] do it this way and only this way, but discipline to put yourself first, to make good with yourself first, to follow the intuition first

Not at the cost of everybody else. You're not being selfish. It's not a complete change of perspective that's only you. No. It's about being open to receiving that that's in your highest good, that you want to have and experience and touch and see and do, because that's why you came here

Communication With yourself That is self-awareness How you impact others, that is self-awareness

Our connection to our soul self, feeling the nudges, following those little truths, [00:10:00] self-awareness. The difference being I get a nudge and I go and look for validation externally. That's not self-awareness, right? That's actually a self-doubt You're turning off your intuition and your trust while you seek validation.

Is this real? Did this really happen? Are my keys where I left them?

So often I find myself wanting everybody else in my inner world to be okay before I can be okay, I want everyone else to feel peaceful before I can feel peaceful

How does it show up for you? Where are you incongruent? With your own inner knowing, your own self-awareness, and your [00:11:00] truth What might change in your life if you trusted your own voice a little more?

What would happen if you put yourself first a little more? What if you gave thanks and appreciation to spirit, for showing you the way?

What happens when you trust yourself? What happens when you are in such beautiful alignment, doing the things that make you happy, feeling good, showing up with your best intentions, your highest integrity

Every day

What would change? What would feel good? What scares you?

That's where you start. Your voice isn't something you need to find. It's already there. You just need to trust it. it's different from the mind [00:12:00] chatter. You can tell the difference in the quality of the tone and the knowing.

Ego voice often tells us what to do, and it has a lot of fear around it because it's our protection.

The ego is our protection voice. When the soul self comes through, it's a gentle nudge, but not in a nudge as in you must do this, just in a this is the most natural way to be steered in the right direction Your higher self never says, "You must do this." No. Your higher self just shows you how exciting and peaceful and congruent the right path for you is.

 The first step to self-trust is self-acceptance. It's that self-awareness without the collapse [00:13:00] and the judgment of yourself

It's saying, "Ah, this is where I'm at today. This feels good. This might feel bad, but I'm just accepting that this is what it is today."

We have some compassion for ourselves then. Ah, if this is where I'm at today, given that this is how I'm feeling, what do I need?

And from that sense of self-compassion and kindness, we can step into, "Ah, now I'm no longer abandoning myself." And when you no longer abandon yourself, you're reaching a stage of self-love A place where your communication Your love for yourself and your love for everyone else comes into harmony

And that harmony strengthens [00:14:00] and honours your inner knowingness, your inner beingness, and that is self-trust

As you remember who you are at your core when you're not people-pleasing, when you're not abandoning yourself, when you're not just doing what everyone else expects of you, you come into a beautiful place of congruency, alignment, self-trust, and your own inner power.

If you have enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend, like and subscribe on the channel that you're watching it from If you would like support in your own communication, your own connection to spirit, please reach out for a soul guidance session or just email me for a chat and see how I can support you in finding your [00:15:00] own alignment, authenticity, and truth.

Thanks for joining me today.